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Monday, May 09, 2016

Marriage Advice

I received a letter in the mail today from my cousin Alyson, and her husband Andrew.  Among other memories with Scott and I, they recalled something that we said to them at their wedding.  It read:

In a Julie and Scott way, I think during the YMCA, Julie said, “Can I give you some unsolicited advice? People who say that marriage is 50/50 are lying” and Scott said, “Yes. Total liars.” Julie went on to say that sometimes marriage is close to 50/50; maybe it gets to 45/55, but there are many moments it’s 95/5. It’s those moments that make sharing your life, your dreams, with someone so rewarding. Because you know the other person will be there, no matter what. Scott said that sometimes you need to be the person you want your spouse to be, or wishes he or she could be.    How prescient. You two are in this life journey together; you’re so intertwined, it doesn’t make sense to allocate percentages, because everything one of you is experiencing personally is lived by the other-- the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful.

Alyson is right.  A marriage isn't about percentages and never was really.  As I laid next to Scott on his good side tonight with his arm wrapped around me, I closed my eyes and could imagine our lives together as they were...and as they are.  The love that we have for each other is all still there, as strong as it ever has been.   For almost 25 years (almost 18 in marriage) we have lived this life together - "the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful."

I know you are probably looking for an update on Scott in this blog entry too.  Although there are increasing challenges as the weeks go by - he is sleeping more each day and has increasing physical challenges -- we enjoy being together as a family.  We treasure each moment, smile, laugh, tear, hug, and opportunity to say I love you.  We are the definition of living in the present - sharing our lives together and giving all we have to each other.  


1 comment:

  1. Love, love this post. Especially because I can see you two sharing this advice on the dance floor during YMCA! You two are a testament to all the love the world! Love you both! xo