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Saturday, August 06, 2016

Storms of Emotions

I'm in a strange place as I see that life is going on all around me as I feel like I'm a little lost, not sure what to do with myself when I have a spare minute but luckily for me having a spare minute is a rare occasion.  

We spent the past week in Manchester, IA and immersed ourselves in the welcoming, laid back Iowa lifestyle.  JJ enjoyed fishing with the cousins every day and Paige got her first driving lesson from cousin Dan, and we all spent some long overdue time catching up with the Iowa relatives.   We left a little of Scott to rest forever in Iowa, another one of his favorite places to be and I felt an overwhelming sadness at the closure of this moment.  As the week drew to a close, we said goodbye to Scott's Dad as he stayed in Iowa while we retuned home to NJ, just the three of us.  We will miss him dearly and we are thankful for all his help over the past 9 months.

 All week, I found myself wanting to call Scott many times to tell him that the plane landed safely or of the fun time we had that day or that we all arrived home, only to remember our reality that he is gone from our physical world forever.  Now I face the tasks that loom ahead of me--- the belongings in our house that still fill his spaces, the social events without him by my side, and the preparations and plannings of a new school year for the kids.  I will do my best to ride out the storms of emotions that pass by each day, sometimes ever so briefly and sometimes ones that emulate a severe thunderstorm.   

I know this much: I wouldn't get by without the support from my friends and family.  Thank you to all of you for reaching out with cards, notes, your time, everything.  I haven't yet written my thank you notes for all that has been done for our family but I will, I will.  Until then, please know how much I appreciate everything.  


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