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Wednesday, March 15, 2017

How are the kids?

The most frequent question I get from people is "How are the kids?"  This is asked to me almost daily.   I'm going to do my best to answer this question while keeping the privacy of their teenage lives in check.  The quesiton itself is pretty broad so I'm not always sure what people are asking.  Are they asking "How are the kids handling their grief?" Or "How are they doing in their lives in general?" so I'll try to address both questions.

Kids definitely handle grief different than adults do.  In fact, from the outside it can sometimes appear that they are perfectly fine.  And a lot of the time they are fine.  But sometimes, they just miss their Dad.  It might be because there was a significant milestone for them and they wonder if their Dad is proud of them.  Or they might be struggling with a history assignment and wish Dad was there to explain historical events (because they know all too well that Mom isn't much help in this area -- good at math but not historical events!).  Or sometimes, they are lost in thoughts and memories and just feel sad...tired, sad, and wishing things were different.   We go together to a place called Imagine in Mountside, NJ every other week.  There, we meet with other families who are in similar situations and really understand what we are going through on a regular basis.  I think they both find some benefit not only for themselves but maybe also in helping others.

As for their lives in general, they both have a lot going on which keeps me busy as the chauffer and chef of the household.  JJ just finished basketball season and had a blast playing on two teams.  I watched him gain confidence and skill while having fun.   He's now starting spring soccer season which will keep him active and busy.  He also grew a ton this year ... needed all new clothes and shoes and I know that isn't stopping anytime soon.  He does well in school, works hard, and helps out around the house.   Paige just finished with the High School swim team and earned her first High School varsity letter!  She also enjoyed the freshman volleyball team in the fall...she is loving being part of the High School sports teams.  While she's not playing a spring sport, she is staying in shape by working out at the gym 3x a week.   She has transitioned to high school well and studies hard at home.  She is amazingly profiecient with her school iPad and seems to be able to do everything with ease on that device.  Like most teenagers, she loves to snapchat all day long and seems to have a slight addiction to Netflix.   I am thankful for both of them in my life each and every day and I am very proud of them and the people they are growing up to be, as I know Scott would be too.   We continue to enjoy many family dinners together each week, love to listen to music together, and try to find some joy in every day.

Keeping the Iowa Hawkeye Spirit alive at the Iowa - Rutgers baskeball game.
JJ wore Scott's lucky Iowa hat from college -- it smells and looks pretty disgusting but
apparently still holds some luck since the Hawks won the game! 

xoxo,
Julie

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