50 Things We’d Like to Share with Scott that Happened between November 2021 - June 2023 for Scott’s 50th Birthday, Written on the 7th anniversary of Scott’s Death on 6/9/2023

Dear Scott,

1. We weren’t all together on your 50th birthday because both kids are in college now so we are writing this on the 7th anniversary of your death.  We still take off work and gather together on this day each year.  It’s always good to be together.   

2. Paige and I had a Covid New Year’s in 2021 ringing in 2022 by ourselves.  We had a blast getting dressed up and doing our hair - it was fun!  And somehow JJ never got Covid!  

3. JJ graduated High School on June 21, 2022 and we were all able to attend.  Papa Ron was even able to watch it remotely.  He listened to the message you left him too.  I’m so thankful you left words of wisdom for the kids on milestone days like this one.

4. Papa says we need your environmental expertise because the whole world is burning up in smoke from the Canadian wildfires.  This is just one of many things he’d like to talk about with you. 

5. For Christmas 2021, Grammy sat on the front lawn because Paige had Covid for Christmas.  We made the best of it so that we could see her and keep her healthy.

6. We continue to go to see the Hawks vs Rutgers everytime they are in the area, which included the basketball games in January of 2022 and January of 2023.  The Hawks had one win and one loss but it is always fun!

7. Paige served and finished her term as risk reduction and education chairman of ZTA and was elected PRESIDENT in Fall of ‘22!  She has really taken on some responsibility roles, you’d be proud!  

8. JJ played varsity basketball his senior year and started a couple of games and got some decent minutes.  He says minimal impact on the outcome of the games but it was fun playing with the team!  I feel like you’d say the same thing about your HS basketball journey! 

9. Papa Ron wrote a storyworth story about JJ’s senior night and about 50 other stories.  He currently has 2 finished published books and is currently finishing up a 3rd one!

10. Grammy burst with pride when she watched JJ and me walk on to the center court for his basketball senior night but she was missing you.  She says that me and JJ are a great team together.  🙂 (Paige was at college)

11. I explored the west coast in the winter of 2022 which included a visit to see Ivanka, who is now a Mom! And a visit to the California wine country, and Washington and Oregon states.  It was fun exploring new places!  

12. Paige started working at a new bakery in the summer of 2022 and it's the first real job (paying taxes) that she’s had and she loves it!  She is working there this summer too and on all her breaks and the money is not bad!

13. JJ went to 2 proms, one being his own.   He looked so handsome and got to drive the BMW to the prom.  He had a blast with his friends that entire weekend.  (We don’t need to know the details!)

14. Ron celebrated his 77 and 78th birthdays and he’s trying to get to his 60th HS reunion! He says getting old isn’t for sissy’s!  I think he’s doing awesome and can’t wait to see him on Nantucket!  

15. 2022 was a transition year for Covid and we were still wearing masks sometimes.  Grammy wore one almost all the time that year but is finally mask free.  

16. JJ and I went to accepted students days at University of Iowa and College of Charleston.  These are some of my best memories with him - we had so much fun!!  But we missed you.  He took his decision seriously making pro and con lists before making his final decision.

17. Paige made dean’s list in the spring and fall of 2022!  She is trying to make it again in her senior year!

18. JJ committed to the College of Charleston and loves it there.  He loves the weather, the people and the women.  Uh…he correct… the education, the good weather, and the beautiful women.  He decided to major in communications.  And I could tell you stories about dropoff - boy did I miss you!!

19. Papa stayed with us at the memorial union hotel at University of Iowa when we visited there.  There were such strong winds - it didn’t have a chance of being the winning school bc of the weather.  The hotel at the memorial union is now closed - but it was great that we got to stay there before it closed.  

20. Grammy had surgery on her eyes done twice by a … specialist??  She thinks they are drooping again and has had other issues that she says are more painful than having you! 

21. I took a trip with my sisters to Florida last year and we all had a blast together.  I’m closer with Jen than I have ever been in my adult life!  I’m really enjoying our friendship. 

22. Paige started dating somebody new and she wishes you were here to meet them.   

23. JJ had to say goodbye to his family and high school friends when leaving for college and learn how to live without them.  He did pretty well and enjoyed his new environment at College of Charleston!  

24. The Spoerls in Iowa have established a tradition of Sunday brunch at Sue’s house.  Ron says it’s good to get together with family each week and it’s been going on now for a year and a half.  

25. We spent another week in Nantucket in July of 2022 and I got to stay in the Grandma’s cabin this year because Winky didn’t join us for the first time.  Grammy was able to get down on the beach again and she planned another scavenger hunt for everyone.  The kids and I went to Cisco Brewery and JJ and I danced - it was a blast!

26. I joined Lifetime Athletic again last summer and started playing pickleball which was a blast until I hurt my ankle.  But I’m probably in the best shape I've been in in years.  I love going to the gym and have even started swimming, biking, and running again!  

27. Paige got a tattoo in honor of our family.  It is everyone’s birth flower - her, JJ, me and you - in a bouquet on her back.  It’s beautiful!

28. JJ joined a fraternity and made loads of new friends which is a new family when he is there.  He has a great group of brothers, and new sisters, that he enjoys spending time with. 

29. Ron still goes to the gym 3 days a week and although he says he’s not the healthiest he’s ever been,  he is consistent!

30. December 12, 2022 was Grammy’s black ice fall.  She hurt her whole body, especially her arm and shoulder.  She had surgery on April 26, 2023 to repair her shoulder in 5 places.  She’s healing well and has a great attitude! 

31. Paige and I still go to the sunrise Easter service in the memorial garden.  I find it very peaceful and feel close to you when I’m there but she feels cold and tired!  Lol

32. Paige and I visited Charleston for parents weekend in February 2023 and went to a darty (daytime party - it’s a thing now).  Paige and JJ want you to know that I danced on a bench - there’s an explanation to why that happened. Haha.  We met all of JJ’s friends and brothers.  It was a blast!  

33. JJ stays active in Charleston playing intramural soccer and playing basketball with friends and going to the gym with Greg.  Pledging kept in shape — lots of running!  

34. Papa says covid didn’t really affect him much because he’s a hermit anyway.  He spends a lot of time reading, writing, and watching TV.  You’d be amazed by the ongoing politics, especially Trump stuff. 

35. Katelyn and Brook and Ben and Laura spend a lot of time in kid sports and are doing amazing things with their athletics - lacrosse, field hockey, soccer, and swimming.

36. I continue to plant the garden every year and this year, my friend Nhan, gave me strawberries, blueberries, blackberries and raspberries.  You would certainly love that.  I continue to battle the bunnies and the deer and I certainly miss your gardening!

37. Paige is a student leader in the Peers and Wellness Program (PAW) doing mental health outreach on campus and is looking forward to continuing that in school counseling.   Only one more year to go!

38. JJ went to Nashville with his friends for a formal and explored the city.  He had a good time! 

39. Joe Biden says that eventually when you’ve lost someone, you start to think the fond thoughts about them and the life they’ve lived.  Rob does that and said yesterday he thought about the song “Roxanne…” that you used to sing.

40. Grammy says I continue to be the best party giver in the world.  She doesn’t have to do anything anymore.  She says I treat her well and that you should know what a wonderful mother I am and how I have done a fabulous job raising your two kids.  (Aw, thanks Grammy!)

41. This summer Paige and I are planning a combined 21st and 50th birthday party.  Can you believe that we are that old?  It’s going to be a blast with Squad 5 playing!  I’ll for certain miss dancing with you, as I do so often.  But you’ll be glad to know that JJ is almost as good as you. 

42. We do family fun nights with our neighbors, the Truskowskis.  Sometimes we just pop over and hang out with them too.   You would definitely get along with all of them!

43. When I (Jules) was away, the kids will play… JJ had a party in February 2022 without permission, and felt the repercussions for it but, in the end, it was worth it.  

44. Papa will be joining us in Nantucket this summer with the family and we are all very excited to spend quality time with him. 

45. Grammy is still busy teaching and participating in book discussions. She says people get older and they have to stay on their toes with new skills. 

46. I enjoy hanging out in the backyard with the kids on nice summer nights. I specifically enjoy playing cornhole with JJ, he is very good and has taught me how to play well. 

47. We continue to raise money to find a cure for brain cancer in your memory. There is no walk this year so Paige and I will ask for donations on our big birthday bash. We are planning to send all funds to the Brooke Healy foundation. 

48. You would be floored at the cost of housing. There was a house that sold for over a million dollars just across the street from us. Our neighbors are starting to move away but we are lucky with new neighbors coming in. I struggle with the decision to sell, rent or stay put. I wish you were here to help me with this decision. 

49. I’ve met a really wonderful man who is an amazing father to his own 2 boys.  Paige and JJ say he treats them and me with kindness, which is absolutely true. We are taking it slowly but I see long term potential in my future with him. 

50. We miss you everyday in so many ways. We look forward to things that make us think of you. And as always, we wish you were here with us. 

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if you were here with me as I enter this new phase of life with both kids in college and time on my own. I know we’d be laughing a lot together. Life would be filled with quiet nights on the couch, dinners out, time with family and friends, and visits to see the kids. What I know for sure is that you’d be so proud of your kids. You’d spend time talking and talking to others about how Paige is president of her sorority and working hard in school and making Dean's list. How she is discovering who she is and who she wants to be. You’d give her advice as the world and people frustrate her at times. You’d tell her to kill them with kindness. You’d share with friends how JJ had found a home in Charleston. You’d tell them how he is so much like you and friendly to everyone. How you are proud of the young man he is becoming. You’d remind him to work hard and go to class. You’d tell him that whatever he chooses to do in life will be the right choice.

I miss you baby, more than words could possibly express. I hope you’d be proud of me too. I know I don’t always make the right choices but I’m trying to find a balance of being happy, healthy, and busy. I know you would want me to be happy. It’s not the same without you but I told you I’d be ok, that it’s not what I would choose, but that I’d try my best to be happy. Xoxo, Julie