Did you know Scott would keep me up to date on the current news stories while I would setup the TV, DVR, and Internet so that he could watch and read the day's top stories? He would help the kids with social studies studying while I could help them with math homework. I now find myself a bit lost...wondering what he would think of the current state of the country and wishing to God he was here to help Paige and JJ study for history tests.
Did you know that Scott was a fabulous driver? Seriously, he really liked to drive and I loved that he liked to drive. On long car trips, I would be the navigator and direct him around traffic jams and take care of the kids needs while he drove and drove. Eventually I would put my feet up on the dashboard and pull out a book and just enjoy the ride. Now I'm in charge of the driving and the navigating and the kids and there is certainly no more relaxing with my feet on the dash.
Did you know that we could throw one heck of a party? It got to the point that we didn't even have to discuss the preparation for a party...we just knew our jobs. He would go to the liquor store and stock the bar and coolers. He would move the furntiure and make a ham in the crockpot (you know you all remember the ham!). I was in charge of the pasta dishes and meatballs and, of course, the music and decorations. And then there was the late night dancing....nothing better than that. I will miss dancing with him forever.
Did you know that Scott was the more "serious" parent while I often played the more "fun" role? He would insist that the kids cleaned up after themselves, turned off lights, spoke respectfully, worked hard, etc. I balanced his serious side by coming up with fun family outings, breaking out into spontaneous family dance times, and often didn't even notice the lights on that needed to be turned off. Now I see every light on and struggle with filling in all parenting roles. I hope that he thinks I'm doing ok.
I could go on and on. I know that we weren't perfect...nobody is...but we were good together, no we were great together. I miss him. I miss him so much sometimes that tears just stream down my face like I've turned on a faucet. In some ways, I think my grief feels worse now on this 5 month anniversary of his death than ever. It was always Scott and Julie....Julie and Scott....